It’s a very warm welcome to Champagne Charlie (aka Charlotte Reather or 
@charliereather) who has bravely agreed to join Park Lane Champagne by writing a monthly snippet, squeezed in amidst all the other works that flow from her pen, including her “Wild Life” column for The Field.
We can’t guarantee exactly what each month will bring, but Charlie has promised to live up to the moniker and delve deep into her life experiences involving champagne that she promises are many and varied… There will also be guides to champagne, interviews with champagne aficionados, and much more beyond. We hope she will find a moment to cover off personalised champagne in the mix, so long as she wasn’t the buyer we had to invoke the label veto for…
And with no more ado, it’s over the top we go. Remember if you like what you read do come back next month for more. To quote another great West Country loving eccentric, “thank you Charlie”: [Ed]
Screaming Orgasms and other festive champagne cocktails
Forget mulled-wine and eggnog, Christmas is the time for screaming orgasms. If you’ve never had one, then you’re most likely the uptight guest in the corner covered in cobwebs. Well, it’s time to dust them off and live a little. Three parts Champagne to one part sloe gin really gets you in the mood for a party. 
I remember one occasion, back in my ever so naughty past, when I was dating a gentleman of advanced years and wicked ways known as Comb-Over Man (COM). It was early December and we were on our way to a lavish do in Rutlandshire. Unfortunately we bumped into one of COM’s alcoholic compadres, Bad Johnny (BJ), who invited us back to his house for a quick screaming orgasm. How could we refuse? After multiples I realised we were late for dinner. Now incapable of driving, BJ’s son drove us to the party on a trailer full of wood chippings attached to his quad. This wouldn’t have been so bad if hadn’t been blizzard conditions.
We arrived half an hour late with intimate splinters and heads like snowmen. As we entered the hall a lady screamed. 
‘Had we crashed the car? What on earth had happened?’ “Yes, it was awful – the car’s a right off,” said COM. “Could we have a drink?” I looked at him in astonishment. Everyone fussed over us both. “Brandy!” called Major Broom. “What they need is brandy.” As he ushered us in to the drawing room he had a brainwave. “How about Champagne cocktails?” I pleaded for clemency but COM thought it was a splendid idea. I surveyed the scene, everyone was in smoking jackets and wearing monogrammed slippers. Where was I? Downton Abbey? As I was introduced, I discovered all the guests had double-barrelled names so, in order not to be left out, I decided for one night only to be Charlotte Smith-Reather.
The butler placed a La Perruche sugar cube into a hand engraved champagne saucer, expertly shook a couple of dashes of Angostura bitters to soak the cube, poured a measure of Courvoisier XO Imperial Cognac into the glass and topped it up with 1992 Perrier-Jouet Champagne Grand Brut. As I watched him work I realised I was swaying again. I tried to pull myself together – the Brooms obviously had a superb cellar and I wanted a return ticket.
COM knocked his glass back and began to smile inanely. I sipped mine but soon discovered it had evaporated and everyone around me was listening to my witty vignettes and laughing uproariously – I was a hit. Thankfully many of the guests got ‘drink envy’ and soon cocktails started to flow all round. By the end of dinner I couldn’t speak and it was best I didn’t. COM was necking the ’62 port and becoming more inappropriate by the minute. It was at his suggestion of playing ‘naughty horses’ things really began to unravel. All I remember was riding a high court judge to victory at 50/1 – the favourite had been taken out by The Chair. Now that’s a party – you won’t get that kind of atmosphere with boring mulled wine.
Recipes for Screaming Orgasm and Classic Champagne Cocktail, by popular festive request – perfect when topped up with any of the excellent champagnes we supply…personalised or not! Happy Christmas.
Amazing after such a warm autumn – where was the October snow that we were promised?! – to think that only 7 weeks on Sunday is Christmas Day…
Don’t want to create an essay but we are excited about all that is going on. New suppliers are fuelling our stampede forward and relevant information can be found in the our producers section of the website. As you would expect, we choose suppliers carefully on a variety of criteria, including quality, uniqueness, service, sustainability and value. Note that for us, value is measured in many ways other than just the price and one of the things we really want is products that are not readily available on the high street. Artisan but established; great quality but affordable with good continuity of supply.
It is hard to believe that the last finger to keyboard jotting was Tom’s insight back in August; here we are nearly two months on and what an eleven weeks it has been; no need to bore one and all but the roller-coaster is definitely to be avoided if at all possible!
now back at 
A large single client project has been successfully completed, although the hand-shifting of 1,100 bottles from the loading bay into the Great Hall at Grosvenor House in the scorching September heat caused James and I to suffer! The complex packing and distribution of 400 individual shipments was completed on time, on budget and without a single error – which is very pleasing although service-second-to-none has always been a key Park Lane Champagne ethos.
And the World waits to see if Sarkozy and Merkel can pull off enough of a plan to give the €uro and the Eurozone a much needed breathing space and hopefully save us all from the catastrophe we have been told awaits. I think the body language needs brushing up a little and perhaps the rhetoric as well if the helpful advice from across the Channel which Cameron and Osborne have been dispensing has caused such Sarkozy foot stamping – or maybe that is new father syndrome?
Working alongside Andy and Nick, James, Al and the warehouse team, life at Park Lane is not only a steep learning curve but a great experience as well. Personalised champagne is what we are all about, from a single bottle for an individual customer to over 6,000 bottles for a major UK company – it’s all in the mix! So we get on with designing banners and customer labels, building bespoke landing pages and client micro-sites, geting involved with order processing, and every day is different. Coming fresh out of my first year at university where I am studying web
design, Nick our lead technology bod has definitely helped me grow my knowledge in the design field. As for the champagne side of things, this is something that has grown and grown on me since being here and now it’s safe to say I’m a fellow champagne drinker myself – and of course I organised a personalised champagne bottle for my mum’s 44th with a custom label…
ere at Park Lane the working environment is fun and relaxed, whilst making sure everyone gets the jobs done. Coffee is a must first thing in the morning and luckily we have a great coffee maker, James, on hand when we need one! Whilst absorbing that caffeine fix, Andy and I liaise with each other on what web development jobs need to be done in the day. 
After this it’s work, work, work until the baguette bar in town is shouting out for me at lunch time; we all love a tasty baguette here (especially a tuna torpedo) when the boys’ vigorous weight loss regime permits – James, Al and London to Brighton bike rides!
Throughout my time here our web presence is ever growing, leading us to exciting new levels. Whilst James and Alastair continue to sell, sell, sell, our work remains in the background pushing our web presence higher and higher and constantly evolving our systems and processes so that everything runs smoothly. Amazing to think that Park Lane’s ecommerce web presence is only two years old and in that time we have grown to over 4,000 visitors per month. It will be even more exciting when we top 40,000 per month and especially to think we all laid the early foundations to allow that growth.
On arrival back after a great weekend I managed to find a little space for some cheese and biscuits and a draft of champagne! All that activity and the requirement to be substantially tee-total (driving) meant I certainly deserved it.
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